This brightened my night up (requires 1337ness and an open mind).

Well, after a long streak of awesome summer movies--Repo Man, Chasing Amy, Minority Report, The Seven Samurai, Gattaca, Rear Window, and Ocean's 11 (w/ director's commentary w00)--I've finally broken my streak with Reign of Fire, the biggest bomb I've seen in recent memory. The script was an eye-roller, the characters (I love this) shouted at least half their lines in unintelligable cockney accents (Matthew McConaughey growls most of his), they just had to add in that tacked-on love interest, and for an action movie, there wasn't even enough interesting action. At least the ridiculous shot of McConaughey taking the Leap of Faith with the axe (from the preview) made it worthwhile...Jeffe and I burst out laughing here.

Ebert said it best with: "Not since "Battleship Earth" has there been worse grooming." (even though it's, uh, Battlefield: Earth, you're right)

This movie was just utterly bleak and depressing to look at the whole way out. "Oo but it's post-apocalyptic" fine, but why would I go to see something this ugly? Oh yeah, it was someone's birthday. Depressing blue and gray themes were really heavy here, just like Minority Report...only this movie didn't rock my world from start to finish.

There's always those action movies that try to convince us that characters are taking a beating by the increasing amount of caked soot/dirt/blood on their faces from scene to scene. Even after they narrowly escape a dragon blast or something, and weren't touched, their faces add another layer of dirt to show something's happened. Maybe that's the director's idea of "character development."

And finally, for a summer action movie, this thing took itself too seriously, and didn't have enough humor--so even those of us who didn't care couldn't get any cheap laughs. The pace was slow, not popcorn-movie-ish, and it just...sucked. Yeah, that's the word I was looking for.

And don't even get me started on the plot holes. *SPLOITERZs*

1) Kill the male dragon, kill the species...uh, okay. Even if the male is killed off (by three people with a crossbow, mind you), why would the rest of the females suddenly stop attacking? Wouldn't they be a little pissed off now that their species is going down the wazoo?

2) Wouldn't the (at least) hundreds of other female dragons have AT LEAST ONE male fertilized egg within their civilization?

3) Couldn't the female dragons still control the earth for a pretty long period of time? After the humans' army got wiped out, the remaining dragons pretty much have things under control...the only way to kill the rest off would be 1) Gung-ho action movie style like that stupid climax, or 2) Outlive the dragons. And as all us geeks already know, dragons and other fantasy creatures live at least 1389274 years compared to humans...so good luck on that one.

>> posted by CaptainCanada at 7/14/2002 03:13:32 PM