|Heh. I swear, there's nothing worse than a white girl with a black accent. Stupid TL. :)|
I'm still an emotional wreck as it is. I can't imagine a month that has gone worse for me than this (perfectly enough, that angsty post of mine was on 10/1). Last night took weight off my shoulders and left me feeling empty at the same time. I don't want to talk about it much, but some things are better left unsaid. I still haven't gotten a good night's sleep except for the 9 1/2 hours I got the day following a day where I was fueled on one hour. The stutter hasn't gotten any better, but at least some friends of mine know about it, so it isn't as much of a big deal to me to do it around them. The rest of the school, however...it's still part of the reason I don't talk to girls, participate in class, or what have you.
My vocabulary has completely deteriorated. I still use "sophomoric phrasing" in my essays, a phrasing which has gotten me through 3 years of honors english with not too much of a hassle. Last year my teacher gushed about how great and "snappy" it was or whatever, so I was truly unprepared for this year's extremely strict standards. It's what I hate about high school english, although there's really no way to avoid it--conform to the teacher's style of writing or else you'll recieve a low grade.
My summer assignment turned out so horrible that this teacher recommends I get the fuck out of her class. Due to a misunderstanding with the assignment, I apparently did half the assignment. I don't even want to think about what my grade was for that trash. This same teacher went around drilling my other teachers about how I was doing, checked my transcript and couldn't believe she saw so many A's from previous years, and planned a meeting with all my teachers, myself, and my parents, to talk about how much I'm sucking in school. Then I get to stutter back about what a carnival my life is except for the parts that really matter, and my mom lays down the law about my college essay and applications, and I feel no different than before except that I'll probably have less computer time and a lower self esteem.
My theory on this whole AP lit disaster is that the constant use of AIM and the blogs are slowly eating away at my writing style and vocabulary. It's too conversational. But ugh...who doesn't like talking to their friends or writing about their day? Sacrifices sacrifices sacrifices. I'm not pissed at the teacher, I don't hold anything against her, but I want A) her to stop treating me like some scum of the earth sophomore who spells "you're" "your", and B) to sort out this summer assignment deal, because I swear I did everything the paper said.
The one thing that went right today is that I got 3rd place in the Big Race today against Tam, helping us along to win by two places. But Mrs. Schmitt (teacher)'s comments on my latest paper wrecked my whole fucking day:
- Sophomoric :(
All right, I should be reading a chapter of the book, not blogging. I don't know why I'd force this reading onto anyone, all they'd think is "Woah, what a sack of depression beans." (tm Bryan). I need a good crying pillow. I'm out.
(btw, I know this has nothing interesting in terms of content, but here's some easy laughs that should tide you over--my giant, fun pic collection hosted on Almasy's server. I'll be moving this blog very soon to Almasymarquis.com)