SCANDIAAA
BUCKETS OF FUN
ROLLED UP INTO ONE

So yeah, I'll break down what happened Monday in the ever-popular bullet form.

Note to anybody who went: For the future, we should meet at Bryan's house just like we did. We almost couldn't do this whole thing since Sophie lives in the middle of nowhere, and Mom wasn't happy at the idea of driving there (bad planning on my part, I guess).

* On the drive up, we got some random funny crap recorded onto Steve's camera (I still have this from last summer's "DLAGON LOCKET VIDEOOO" package we sent out--Steve doesn't seem to care), not limited to THE 3RD TEST OF HELL (candy force feeding) and CROTCH SHOTS APLENTY. Everyone played cellphone Snake, and we listened to phat drum 'n bass b33tz of the E-Z Rollers (who I'll now force you to download).

  • We arrived at Scandia (for those of you who don't know, it's one of those "family entertainment centers" with golf, batting cages, and go-karts, but a nice arcade) and made a beeline for the MAX2 machine they have there (woo, still only $1.00). After some half-my size kids went up and failed using their "two-arrows-each" approach, Bryan and I got to inflate our egos in front of parents who we'll never see again in our lives. Of course, I just had to fail on the last step of So Deep, but at least the AM-3P sliding was fun (Bryan actually quoted my "one trick AM-3Pony" line from one of my old old blogs, wohah). And of course, we got the "have you memorized all the songs or something?" question. Blegh, can't they see...if we'd memorized the damn things, we'd be doing them backwards.

  • We then got rushed to get food by Hungry Hungry Hannah (and, uh, soy), but the pizza counter was out of something. See, up until then, Bryan/Adam/Sophie had had pizza together every day. So we left as fast as we'd come in and went to In-N-Out instead. Helluva fun times there--Hannah and Bryan came onto me and beat the Homer-style "loud whisper" gag into the ground:

    BRYAN: ("whispering") OH MY GOD JAMES IS SO HOT RIGHT NOW
    BRYAN: (shifting hand to cover side of face closest to me) OH WHOOPS, WRONG HAND...HANNAH, JAMES IS SO HOT RIGHT NOW
    HANNAH: YOU SHOULD SO SEX HIM

    etc, with them saying stuff in "whispers" louder than they usually talk. Our table got so loud that some guy came over and basically told us to shut the hell up, in that casual-yet-pissed-off kind of way (like in Jackass, how the golfers talked to Knoxville and crew after they were blowing airhorns on the green :). We took the hint, finished up, and attacked each other with Post-Its FPS-style in the parking lot. (*clack, clack* "reload")

  • Scandia has a huge variety of expensive non-joystick games, none of which are really worth the money except DDR and Para Para Paradise. Adam tried a razor scooter one that had some good Engrish quotes ("THE WRONG WAY") and nothing else. There was this one guy playing PunchMania--or whatever that game with the boxing glove is--who looked fruity as a motha'. I never thought a boxing game could look more effeminate than a dancing game, but he proved me wrong. =D (I didn't catch it on tape, though, damn). There was also a guy playing that Police 911 game (gun game w/ motion sensors--you actually have to duck down to duck) who Bryan and soy thought was the funniest thing evar, but I looked and he was just playing normally--don't hate the playa', hate the game (whut?).

  • soy tried out Para Para Paradise for the first time, and owned it up to four, uh, hand songs. She still says that DDR is better, but I dunno, ParaPara seems like her game...Bryan did some 1337 Dynamite Rave freestyling to the side of the machine (handslaphandslaphandslaphandslaphandslaphandslap) as a coming attraction for later (and we got that scrubby DR routine on tape, yesss!).

  • Unfortunately, there was only one 1337 AzN DDR Masta there--AAing 9-foot songs and the like--and he worked there. His online handle is O-Yama, btw. Hannah invited him herself to the Starbase tourney (brgh, now I can't win :P), and then we got to yell DDR in-joke stuff like "DEE TWO AHH!", "ROAST BEEF!", and "BAGEL BAGEL!" while he played, and all was well.

  • While Adam and Hannah had mad sex or something on the mini-golf course, we all stood around the vending machine (the water cost 1) and tried to convince Sophie to pay up for a ride on the go-karts but she was all "5.75?! fuck dat" and Bryan's all "bitch ya better use my $3:00 dealy, yo" and she's all "oh HELL NO". Which is funny, since all her life she had wanted to go on the go-karts at Scandia, but never got to...and then when she has to pay for it herself, she ducks out.

  • And finally, we found the most blatant phallic structure since that spire in the poster for The Little Mermaid--a redemption game called TOWER OF POWER, which is basically a giant cylinder surrounded by seven huge glowing orbs. We got it on tape and took turns rubbing it like idiots, and couldn't stop laughing, meanwhile, a parent with a kid in her lap just tried to look away. "Tower of Power" is the dick joke du jour now.

    That's about it...Apparently both Brad (evilflatkiwi) and Simbo have video-to-DV converters at their houses, so who knows, you might be able to download clips of this trip in video form. =D

    random:

    * ...tried out my first public Never Let You Down routine backwards yesterday, and completely failed it thanks to Darren Lo's psyche-out antics. >_< Guess I'll have to "come back to this stage after morre practice."

    * Shwan and Henry think I need a rap name. I told 'em "Slim Gowdey," but they think I need something aboot Canada in there. -_-

    * These two girls I'd never seen before yelled "JAMES!!" in the halls today, and then after I turned around, they went "Oh wait, you're not James." Turns out they thought I was James Peterson...hahgahahh, all right, I'm just desperate for material now.

    'K, my time has come, and I'm a shine like the sun. (whut?)

    >> posted by CaptainCanada at 11/12/2002 03:17:12 PM


  • Hornet558: do u like ddr
    JeffreyAtW: Yeah.
    Hornet558: Vice City is better

    TOO MUCH has happened lately, and I can't cram it into a blog by a reasonable hour tonight if I'm going to watch a movie. First off, here's a little DDR Singalong FAQ I've been writing for the past week now.

    Friday got me out of the rut I was in for most of the week--Schmitt really wants to see me improve, and has suggested a speech therapist, (finally)--I hadn't been with that many friends in one day since...ever? Steve assembled a huge group to go to the mall and see Jackass--Jeff, Levi, Steve, Felix, Simbo, Vladimir (never before mentioned on the site, yay). We got to waste an hour or so away at the mall's arcade first, so I racked up something like 14 wins in MvC2 (it's fun and sad when scrubs keep challenging you over and over again because they have nothing better to do) and watched Steve play Jambo Safari (translates to "Hello Safari", wtf). Oh, and the arcade finally ordered a DDR machine, and will be getting it in a month. It's about 3 blocks down from school...can you say "DDR Club gatherings"? =D

    It was my second time seeing the jack of all asses, and Steve forced us to sit up front for half of it (allll the way up front), but it was still just as much of a WTFest as before--there isn't a movie with a script where you'll laugh as much as this. I still crack up at the short bits the most (i.e. guy skids across rainy surface on a trash can lid, starts to fall, and at the same time is smacked by a runaway shopping cart...cut to next clip right away :)

    After much reminiscing of how COOL it was in Jackass when Steve-O trampolined into the fan and whatnot...Levi and Jeff and I arrived at the Oasis, then gathered some TL people to tromp down to Starbase as usual. On the way there (and for the second time I can remember), there were these two middle aged (hag) women standing outside a bar, smoking and drinking (all at once, a la Kramer). And for the second time, they said "Ohhh, look at all these cute guys!"...I don't know if it's to boost our confidence or fuck with our heads. :P

    To break the usual DDR story down:

    * EVERYBODY imaginable was there: Bryan, Adam, Soy, Hannah, Jeff of course, Levi, Brad/Simon (from DDR club), Conrad, Some Guy...even Chris was working there that night. There was an insane amount of yelling and singing as always--we've definitely run out of fun things to do on the DDR machine, though--same old Do Me, Dynamite Rave scrub routines (watch that last one, if anything), Petit Love singing. But damn if it doesn't still make my Friday night. :)
    * Hannah smacking me (involuntarily--Bryan was holding her arms) across the face like a pimp.
    * Me doing better on R&P than Chris. =D
    * Kick the Can challenge failed by everybody both times it was tried (Jeff was intentional, Bryan is just teh klutz).
    * Levi introduced to Rockstar (and subsequently going insane). Sophie introduced Bryan and I to some funked up syrupy green drink that looked (and tasted) like something out of a Nickelodeon show.
    * Simon getting owned by Sophie in DDR twice, then failing Captain Jack ("GOOOOOOOOO") on the last 5 steps when she didn't even try. It was funny because at the beginning, soy assumed he was a lot better than she. I think part of the reason was that Brad and Levi and I sang lyrics to "Captain Jack" nonstop during his first two songs until he finally chose the song. =)
    * Conrad button mashing his way to the last boss with a crappy team in MSHvSF (they took out MvC2, agh).
    * A pack full of sweaty DDRers crammed into one room just to watch my blooper reel!
    * DDR 4TH MIX PLUS TOURNAMENT ANNOUNCED FOR SOME DATE AT STARBASE. I don't know what the full competition is since nobody plays at Starbase, but who knows, I just might win the freestyle division. =D

    Jeff drove everybody home, and we listened some of the most fucked up techno ever (done by a gay guy--no, not DJ Gay-Boy), along with Stomp To My Beat off of "92.7...PARTY", all the while yelling "OWNED!!!" as usual to innocent bystanders. I then got home, wrote up a half-assed outline for this blog, responded to Liustyle's PM about video editing (yay, recognition for the bloopers!), and passed out.

    Yesterday, I woke up early (uh, 11) and memorized my choice for the Starbase tourney, Never Let You Down. I can do the steps pretty much, but I've found it's harder to get any kind of improv freestyle down if I'm focused on pulling the steps out of my memory. On a side note, DDRMAX is the best home mix to date...it has so many freaking songs I like (except "I Like To Move It", "22Dunk", and "Love This Feelin'"--don't ever play these unless it's some kind of Jackass stunt). Now if only those modded pads weren't AT SCHOOL on weekends...

    And today was this cross country/celebration-of-house-remodeling-or-something party at a TL sophomore's (Miles Sullivan...I think Jeff mentioned him somewhere in his blog) house. I confused soy a little under Miles's screenname, watched Miles's buddies obsess over cars (something I never got) and those same cars crashing, ate way too many condiments, drank way too much orange cream soda, could barely breathe after playing some pickup basketball in a heavy long sleeve shirt, played that Gundam fighting game that Almasy likes for the first time (sucked at it, but nice graphics), stomped down little tykes in SSB Melee (FALCO...PAUUNCH!), and slid around on Miles's crappy DDR soft pad (he apparently hates the game now that Jeff booted him out of the club once for stomping too hard). In other words, it sucked--it was way too cramped, with downstairs being filled with middle aged friends of his mom, and upstairs filled with strobe lights and meddling kids laughing at uglypeople.com humor. I would have gotten away with it, too.

    And just in case you thought this wasn't a FF7 humor site (which it isn't), here's a song parody from a fan by the name of Earth Mage 2000. And updated AIM fun by me.

    Googlism is the time-waster of the day.
    Ugress - Symbiosis is the MP3 of the day.
    Moondance.wav is the loop of the year.

    Don't know where all that came from...and no, I won't make a habit of it, probably. See ya.

    >> posted by CaptainCanada at 11/10/2002 12:59:41 AM